That's me on the extreme right(hahahaha), on drumkit and esky, pretending to read the music!
What a great night it was. Beer, BBQ, belting out tunes and yacking till midnight.
Thanks to Norm & Brian for organising this once again.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Merry Christmas Folks
Merry Christmas to all from Gibbos Place, featuring, for your dancing pleasure, the "Cowper Drive Crooners"
That's me on the extreme right(hahahaha), on drumkit and esky, pretending to read the music!
What a great night it was. Beer, BBQ, belting out tunes and yacking till midnight.
Thanks to Norm & Brian for organising this once again.
That's me on the extreme right(hahahaha), on drumkit and esky, pretending to read the music!
What a great night it was. Beer, BBQ, belting out tunes and yacking till midnight.
Thanks to Norm & Brian for organising this once again.
The killing machine that is Marxism
"With the fall of the Soviet Union and communist governments in Eastern Europe,
too many have the impression that Marxism, the religion of communism, is dead.
Hardly. It is alive and well in many countries still, such as North Korea,
China, Cuba, Vietnam, Laos, a gaggle of African countries, and in the minds of
many South American political leaders. However, of most importance to the future
of democracy, communism still pollutes the thinking of a vast multitude of
Western academics and intellectuals.
Of all religions, secular and
otherwise, that of Marxism has been by far the bloodiest – bloodier than the
Catholic Inquisition, the various Catholic crusades, and the Thirty Years War
between Catholics and Protestants. In practice, Marxism has meant bloody
terrorism, deadly purges, lethal prison camps and murderous forced labor, fatal
deportations, man-made famines, extrajudicial executions and fraudulent show
trials, outright mass murder and genocide.
In total, Marxist regimes murdered nearly 110 million people from 1917 to 1987. For perspective
on this incredible toll, note that all domestic and foreign wars during the 20th
century killed around 35 million. That is, when Marxists control states, Marxism
is more deadly then all the wars of the 20th century, including World Wars I and
II, and the Korean and Vietnam Wars.
And what did Marxism, this greatest of
human social experiments, achieve for its poor citizens, at this most bloody
cost in lives? Nothing positive. It left in its wake an economic, environmental,
social and cultural disaster."
Read the rest here. It should be compulsory reading.
Via Dissecting Leftism
too many have the impression that Marxism, the religion of communism, is dead.
Hardly. It is alive and well in many countries still, such as North Korea,
China, Cuba, Vietnam, Laos, a gaggle of African countries, and in the minds of
many South American political leaders. However, of most importance to the future
of democracy, communism still pollutes the thinking of a vast multitude of
Western academics and intellectuals.
Of all religions, secular and
otherwise, that of Marxism has been by far the bloodiest – bloodier than the
Catholic Inquisition, the various Catholic crusades, and the Thirty Years War
between Catholics and Protestants. In practice, Marxism has meant bloody
terrorism, deadly purges, lethal prison camps and murderous forced labor, fatal
deportations, man-made famines, extrajudicial executions and fraudulent show
trials, outright mass murder and genocide.
In total, Marxist regimes murdered nearly 110 million people from 1917 to 1987. For perspective
on this incredible toll, note that all domestic and foreign wars during the 20th
century killed around 35 million. That is, when Marxists control states, Marxism
is more deadly then all the wars of the 20th century, including World Wars I and
II, and the Korean and Vietnam Wars.
And what did Marxism, this greatest of
human social experiments, achieve for its poor citizens, at this most bloody
cost in lives? Nothing positive. It left in its wake an economic, environmental,
social and cultural disaster."
Read the rest here. It should be compulsory reading.
Via Dissecting Leftism
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Plenty of gas Rachele!
Rachele, one of the lurkers at Crazy Dicks thinks I may have "run out of gas".
No, there is plenty of gas Rachele. As someone else said in the comments at Crazy Dick's, It is a bit like picking on kids in wheelchairs debating with your lot.
For those of you who aren't familiar with Rachele, here is just a sample.
"Personally, even though I sometimes dont understand what he's trying to say, for the most part, I agree with him."
"I never said his writings must be true. Perhaps he may never have said anything which has yet come true... but have you? Does simply doing nothing make you right"
"The Greens aren’t communists. They are rights activists."
"The left is too far right for me anyway. I want no part of it"
"HOw do you know that the world is out side when you shut all the doors and close the curtains...."
"your opnions and retalliations are perfect examples of juevenille behaviour"
"I'm pretty sure the point was shitty capitalism and people dying while people just like you sit back and scratch their arses eating McDonalds"
"What is so scary about the idea of communism and peace?"
"I would point out an example of a 'communist country in which I would like to live, if there were ever such a thing, but so far there has not yet been a country which has truly prescribed to the communist ideology."
"So you’re a sad old man eh? Beer swilling nationalistic, child rearing, typical aussie bloke…" [I love this one. Child rearing is apparently now a problem, Gibbo]
"Overwhelming amounts of people seem to think that anarchy is chaos, when in fact; this does not have to be the case. If the individuals of a society have a common sense of moral order, then anarchy is possible. Perhaps this is not the perfect system of goverment (or lack there of) in our society, but if you take a post modern perspective on things, all ideas have faults, and there is no right and wrong, because it is suggested that there is fundamental truth"
"I would like to argue that communism has never been fully implemented as a system of government"
I have to include a classic reply from Fred:
"Still, have to love commies who hate evil rich capitalists,and sit typing away on Wintels ( Or do you use a steam powered, enviromentally friendly, recycled bean tin running a copy of Linux Red Hat 5 which you nicked from a computer mag in the waiting room at the CES)."
Rachele, when you develop an original thought, or even a coherent one, we might try again. Until then, keep working on that list of Crazy Dick's prophecies. I haven't seen it yet.
By the way, if your site is supposed to be a porn one, show a bit more tit. If it isn't then knock off the fake erotica shit and improve the quality of your argument.
The final word should go to Rachele though. This from her site:
"I always assumed that people who had live journals had something profound to say, and yet I"m finding I lack the inspiration for such profound comments... perhaps I should shut up.
So I'm thinking of going to a fancy dress party as a cat..."
No, there is plenty of gas Rachele. As someone else said in the comments at Crazy Dick's, It is a bit like picking on kids in wheelchairs debating with your lot.
For those of you who aren't familiar with Rachele, here is just a sample.
"Personally, even though I sometimes dont understand what he's trying to say, for the most part, I agree with him."
"I never said his writings must be true. Perhaps he may never have said anything which has yet come true... but have you? Does simply doing nothing make you right"
"The Greens aren’t communists. They are rights activists."
"The left is too far right for me anyway. I want no part of it"
"HOw do you know that the world is out side when you shut all the doors and close the curtains...."
"your opnions and retalliations are perfect examples of juevenille behaviour"
"I'm pretty sure the point was shitty capitalism and people dying while people just like you sit back and scratch their arses eating McDonalds"
"What is so scary about the idea of communism and peace?"
"I would point out an example of a 'communist country in which I would like to live, if there were ever such a thing, but so far there has not yet been a country which has truly prescribed to the communist ideology."
"So you’re a sad old man eh? Beer swilling nationalistic, child rearing, typical aussie bloke…" [I love this one. Child rearing is apparently now a problem, Gibbo]
"Overwhelming amounts of people seem to think that anarchy is chaos, when in fact; this does not have to be the case. If the individuals of a society have a common sense of moral order, then anarchy is possible. Perhaps this is not the perfect system of goverment (or lack there of) in our society, but if you take a post modern perspective on things, all ideas have faults, and there is no right and wrong, because it is suggested that there is fundamental truth"
"I would like to argue that communism has never been fully implemented as a system of government"
I have to include a classic reply from Fred:
"Still, have to love commies who hate evil rich capitalists,and sit typing away on Wintels ( Or do you use a steam powered, enviromentally friendly, recycled bean tin running a copy of Linux Red Hat 5 which you nicked from a computer mag in the waiting room at the CES)."
Rachele, when you develop an original thought, or even a coherent one, we might try again. Until then, keep working on that list of Crazy Dick's prophecies. I haven't seen it yet.
By the way, if your site is supposed to be a porn one, show a bit more tit. If it isn't then knock off the fake erotica shit and improve the quality of your argument.
The final word should go to Rachele though. This from her site:
"I always assumed that people who had live journals had something profound to say, and yet I"m finding I lack the inspiration for such profound comments... perhaps I should shut up.
So I'm thinking of going to a fancy dress party as a cat..."
Thursday, December 16, 2004
New Years Eve in Shepparton.
How often does Shepparton spring into your mind? Be honest. Not often I’ll bet. Well, I have had discussion recently with a certain Shane Campbell Muir of Shepparton and it jogged a few memories. Alas, none of them involve “chemtrails”.
As some of you know, I used to be a roadie. A few of my pals have been hassling me recently to publicly tell some of my “war stories”. I have resisted for a while but, enough time has passed now to make them interesting without getting people in the shit.
I have spent many an interesting New Years Eve, but among them is not the one spent in Shepparton.
From (unreliable) memory, it was 1992. I was working for a chap by the name of Rick Price who was doing good business at the time. We were booked to play New Years Eve at this pub in Shepparton along with The Black Sorrows and Daryl Braithwaite as well as one or two others(Dave Mason-Cox I think). At the time it was a very impressive line up and it promised to be a great night. The bloke who owned the pub had spent a motza on this night. He was planning to clean up on account of the fact that basically nothing else was going on for a hundred miles around. He had put a cyclone wire fence around the car park and had blacked it out with plastic. He had put a quite decent stage in, along with reasonable backstage facilities for us and the other bands. The topper was that he had knocked a big hole in the (brick) wall of the pub to allow him to sell grog at a phenomenal rate to the vast crowd. The guy had pallets of grog everywhere!
For the “PA Heads”… We had an ARX PA system of around 18,000 watts front of house and about 13,000 watts of monitors on 8 sends. The Black Sorrows had an almost identical system so we set them both up to form quite a decent system. It took all afternoon to set up and make the two systems work together. We had a crew of 6 and they had similar. They also had this poor schmuck who had “won” a competition on the tele to be Joe Camelleris’ personal roadie. He had been on the road with this particular tour for about two weeks. In the scheme of things, he was basically useless. The Sorrows’ crew made no bones at all about letting him know this. They wouldn’t let him touch anything. He was the epitome of “the lunch boy”. The poor prick was miserable but he was hundreds of miles from home and broke! Apart from this, their crew was blueing pretty good amongst themselves, so the atmosphere was “touchy” at best. Our crew were getting on well and took the opportunity to “stoke the fires” a bit.
The publican was expecting a crowd of many thousands, literally, and had invested heavily. Guess what? They didn’t turn up!
We had this massive setup, these great bands, the “hole in the wall bar”, the pallets of grog, the bar staff, the big stage, the security dudes, the backstage compound with catering, generators, cyclone fencing, but… no crowd. The artists, all of them, kicked arse. If you have never seen Joe Camelleri and The Black Sorrows live, then you have truly missed out. It is a musicians band. The musicians will know what I mean. Our band kicked too. Rick Price had a red hot band and they delivered. But no one was there. Daryl Braithwaite started the show with just himself and a keyboard player and managed to be thoroughly entertaining for about 45 minutes. Quite a feat for two dudes, but, no one was there.
At the end of the night you could have cut the atmosphere with a knife. The smell of burning promoter hung heavily in the air!
We packed up our gear in record time and then attempted to leave. The Sorrows’ crew decided to get shitty at this point. What right did we have to piss off early when the job wasn’t finished? Well, we were finished! We figured that we had about half the gear each. We had packed up ours therefore fulfilling our part of the bargain. However… these dudes were fighting each other and were working like “old moles”. In the spirit of reconciliation, and with much hesitance, we decided to help these poor buggers who had just about had enough, and wanted to go home.
We eventually got their truck packed and headed off to the Motel for a well earned kip. Only, my brother and I got side tracked into another Motel room with a local band! I’d like to tell you the full juicy details but… nothing happened. These dudes were the most boring people you could meet. No sex, no drugs, no rock & roll. Not even a couple of long necks.
It was one of the best concerts I have ever seen, and no one was there!
That is my complete experience of Shepparton. In my opinion, the place could do with a few more chemtrails. It could bloody well do with something!Thursday, December 09, 2004
That's not a mullet Darp, this is a MULLET
Darp thinks he has a mullet.
Sorry to dissapoint you mate but here is the real thing. Circa 1988 and complete with FuManchu moustache!
I have a better one than this somewhere, complete with Santa Claus hat. If I find it I'll post it.
If you have a genuine 80's mullet shot, then post it on your site or send it over. Maybe we could organise a vote. Darps' mob will reckon that the vote was rigged or stolen by Mirand Airey-Fairy or something, but it might be fun
Sorry to dissapoint you mate but here is the real thing. Circa 1988 and complete with FuManchu moustache!
I have a better one than this somewhere, complete with Santa Claus hat. If I find it I'll post it.
If you have a genuine 80's mullet shot, then post it on your site or send it over. Maybe we could organise a vote. Darps' mob will reckon that the vote was rigged or stolen by Mirand Airey-Fairy or something, but it might be fun
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Racism for Dummies
Update: As I have been accused of misquoting someone who I didn't even quote, here is the link to the post at Darps' Blog that started all this. See for yourself.
Original Post:
There has been great discussion recently regarding the topic of racism and, as Australians, our supposed predisposition toward it. It is a topic that is simply too complex to discuss back and forth in the comments section of someone’s blog, so I thought I would take a few moments to put my thoughts down in some sort of order.
To give you some context, I would like to explain a little about myself and my background. I am a fifth generation Australian (as far as I have traced so far), of basically British origins. I was born in 1962 and raised in Sydney’s Western Suburbs. Cabramatta, to be precise. That makes me a white male, 42years old and a westie. Prime racist material eh?
Cabramatta was then, and is now, a melting pot of many different races. We had wads of post-war immigrants of many different nationalities. I lived in a short cul-de-sac that had the migrant hostel at the bottom. The makeup of our street was roughly this: On our side it went Scottish, Russian, Italian, Aussies, Latvians, Serbs, Italians, Italians and Croatians. The other side went Italians, Italians, Italians, Serbs, Italians, Various, Aussies, Aussies, Ukrainians, Scots, Macedonians, and this was just my street. As you know, we then had a large influx of Asian refugees starting in the 70’s. In short, if you were racist, you didn’t have any friends. This community was remarkably harmonious. People just plain got along. Sure, there were people you didn’t like but it was usually something more substantial than their racial background. I will have more to say in a future post about why I think that this community was as successful as it was, but it serves to show you some of my background and why I get so upset when people say I am a racist because I am a white male or because I vote for John Howard. It is simply not true. It is a concept that I reject out of hand. This is not to say that Australians are not racist or that I have never been a racist. I am simply stating that we are no more racist than anyone else. I believe that all races use this “evil power” whenever it suits them.
It is not something that white people do to brown people. It is not something Aussies do to wogs. It is something people do to each other.
Let me explain it like this:
I support Parramatta in the football. I go along to games or watch ‘em on the TV and I get all worked up. When my team plays your team, I don’t like your team. Say we are playing against Newcastle, then that Andrew Johns is a mongrel bastard who must be stopped at all costs. Phoooey on him. Kick him in the nuts, pull his hair, whatever. Just beat them. But… when State of Origin time comes around, Andrew Johns no longer is a mongrel bastard who plays for Newcastle. He’s the bloody captain of NSW and a top bloke. Skillful, wiley, just a brilliant player. Great to see my man Nathan Hindmarsh in the same team as the great Andrew Johns. On the other hand, that Shane Webke is a prick eh? Bloody fridge on legs. I don’t like him at all! Smash him boys!!! Bloody Queenslander.
But… when the Aussie team gets picked to go and wallop the Poms, that bloody Webke. Top bloke! Never stops trying. Proud to have him in the side. Go Shane, smash those Poms.
That, my friends is exactly how racism works. It is all about the current perspective and what suits you at the time.
When it suits we are citizens of the world.
When it suits we are Aussies.
When it suits we are part of Asia.
When it suits we are of British descent.
When it suits we are ANZACS
When it suits we are a multicultural paradise.
I have never met a specific race or culture who is not capable of pulling out the race card whenever it suits. The problem is that it stifles genuine debate and the possibility of actually fixing some of our countries serious problems. If you shout down every argument that is not yours as racist, then you are not helping. Some examples of “Aussies inherent racism” were given to me at Darps’ blog today. One fellow said that he had never seen an Aboriginal married to a white person in Australia so therefore we must all be racist. Mate, I lived next door to an Aboriginal chap and his white wife for many years. It is not as uncommon as you think. Another person said that by my treating all races as equal, I was being ethnocentric and therefore was a racist. What the fuck? One person even said that I must be a racist because voted for “the right”. Just what we need mate, sensible debate.
I know it has become fashionable in some circles to be a self flagellator but don’t include me in your guilt trip. The we had the call for an "indigenous" blogger to come in and tell us once more how racist we are because only black people know. IE Black person says white person is racist. Ipso facto... white peole are racist. QED.
While we are talking about Aboriginals. Don’t think that they aren’t as bad as anyone else at this stuff. Many of the tribes are openly hostile to each other for no more reason than their “race” IE My tribe is better than yours. I have personally witnessed the unbelievable amount of diplomacy it takes to get some of these people to just be in the same room as each other, let along carry out a meaningful dialog. This is not a put-down. This just proves they are human like the rest of us. By segregating them into a sub-group of our society that is treated inherently different is racist beyond belief as just does not help. If every problem is looked at through the lens of “it must be whitey’s fault”, then you are missing many opportunities to fix things.
If someone in this country is living in sub-human conditions due to genuine neglect then that is a tragedy and should be fixed. The problem is not a worse one because the victim is black. When you are constantly told that your circumstances are not your fault, then life becomes easy. Any problem you have must be caused by someone else’s actions. Therefore, it is not your responsibility to fix. It might even surprise you to learn that not Aboriginals live under a piece of corrugated tin in Bumfuqnowhere. Not all of them are drug addled fuckwits from Redfern. The vast majority of them lead happy, fulfilled, quiet lives in suburbia, far from the hue and cry of the racist politics of the left. They even marry white folks sometimes Davo! By categorizing them as all being disadvantaged because they are black is racist in the extreme.
I’ll say it one more time for the dummies. It is not something that white people do to brown people. It is not something Aussies do to wogs. It is something people do to each other. If you think that it is an Aussie thing then you simply don’t mix with a wide enough group of people. Go out and make friends with some wogs. Most of them are nice people, just like everyone else. Most of them are capable of being racist pigs when it suits, just like everyone else. You might even enjoy the food. Better than chops, peas and potatoes anyday.
Original Post:
There has been great discussion recently regarding the topic of racism and, as Australians, our supposed predisposition toward it. It is a topic that is simply too complex to discuss back and forth in the comments section of someone’s blog, so I thought I would take a few moments to put my thoughts down in some sort of order.
To give you some context, I would like to explain a little about myself and my background. I am a fifth generation Australian (as far as I have traced so far), of basically British origins. I was born in 1962 and raised in Sydney’s Western Suburbs. Cabramatta, to be precise. That makes me a white male, 42years old and a westie. Prime racist material eh?
Cabramatta was then, and is now, a melting pot of many different races. We had wads of post-war immigrants of many different nationalities. I lived in a short cul-de-sac that had the migrant hostel at the bottom. The makeup of our street was roughly this: On our side it went Scottish, Russian, Italian, Aussies, Latvians, Serbs, Italians, Italians and Croatians. The other side went Italians, Italians, Italians, Serbs, Italians, Various, Aussies, Aussies, Ukrainians, Scots, Macedonians, and this was just my street. As you know, we then had a large influx of Asian refugees starting in the 70’s. In short, if you were racist, you didn’t have any friends. This community was remarkably harmonious. People just plain got along. Sure, there were people you didn’t like but it was usually something more substantial than their racial background. I will have more to say in a future post about why I think that this community was as successful as it was, but it serves to show you some of my background and why I get so upset when people say I am a racist because I am a white male or because I vote for John Howard. It is simply not true. It is a concept that I reject out of hand. This is not to say that Australians are not racist or that I have never been a racist. I am simply stating that we are no more racist than anyone else. I believe that all races use this “evil power” whenever it suits them.
It is not something that white people do to brown people. It is not something Aussies do to wogs. It is something people do to each other.
Let me explain it like this:
I support Parramatta in the football. I go along to games or watch ‘em on the TV and I get all worked up. When my team plays your team, I don’t like your team. Say we are playing against Newcastle, then that Andrew Johns is a mongrel bastard who must be stopped at all costs. Phoooey on him. Kick him in the nuts, pull his hair, whatever. Just beat them. But… when State of Origin time comes around, Andrew Johns no longer is a mongrel bastard who plays for Newcastle. He’s the bloody captain of NSW and a top bloke. Skillful, wiley, just a brilliant player. Great to see my man Nathan Hindmarsh in the same team as the great Andrew Johns. On the other hand, that Shane Webke is a prick eh? Bloody fridge on legs. I don’t like him at all! Smash him boys!!! Bloody Queenslander.
But… when the Aussie team gets picked to go and wallop the Poms, that bloody Webke. Top bloke! Never stops trying. Proud to have him in the side. Go Shane, smash those Poms.
That, my friends is exactly how racism works. It is all about the current perspective and what suits you at the time.
When it suits we are citizens of the world.
When it suits we are Aussies.
When it suits we are part of Asia.
When it suits we are of British descent.
When it suits we are ANZACS
When it suits we are a multicultural paradise.
I have never met a specific race or culture who is not capable of pulling out the race card whenever it suits. The problem is that it stifles genuine debate and the possibility of actually fixing some of our countries serious problems. If you shout down every argument that is not yours as racist, then you are not helping. Some examples of “Aussies inherent racism” were given to me at Darps’ blog today. One fellow said that he had never seen an Aboriginal married to a white person in Australia so therefore we must all be racist. Mate, I lived next door to an Aboriginal chap and his white wife for many years. It is not as uncommon as you think. Another person said that by my treating all races as equal, I was being ethnocentric and therefore was a racist. What the fuck? One person even said that I must be a racist because voted for “the right”. Just what we need mate, sensible debate.
I know it has become fashionable in some circles to be a self flagellator but don’t include me in your guilt trip. The we had the call for an "indigenous" blogger to come in and tell us once more how racist we are because only black people know. IE Black person says white person is racist. Ipso facto... white peole are racist. QED.
While we are talking about Aboriginals. Don’t think that they aren’t as bad as anyone else at this stuff. Many of the tribes are openly hostile to each other for no more reason than their “race” IE My tribe is better than yours. I have personally witnessed the unbelievable amount of diplomacy it takes to get some of these people to just be in the same room as each other, let along carry out a meaningful dialog. This is not a put-down. This just proves they are human like the rest of us. By segregating them into a sub-group of our society that is treated inherently different is racist beyond belief as just does not help. If every problem is looked at through the lens of “it must be whitey’s fault”, then you are missing many opportunities to fix things.
If someone in this country is living in sub-human conditions due to genuine neglect then that is a tragedy and should be fixed. The problem is not a worse one because the victim is black. When you are constantly told that your circumstances are not your fault, then life becomes easy. Any problem you have must be caused by someone else’s actions. Therefore, it is not your responsibility to fix. It might even surprise you to learn that not Aboriginals live under a piece of corrugated tin in Bumfuqnowhere. Not all of them are drug addled fuckwits from Redfern. The vast majority of them lead happy, fulfilled, quiet lives in suburbia, far from the hue and cry of the racist politics of the left. They even marry white folks sometimes Davo! By categorizing them as all being disadvantaged because they are black is racist in the extreme.
I’ll say it one more time for the dummies. It is not something that white people do to brown people. It is not something Aussies do to wogs. It is something people do to each other. If you think that it is an Aussie thing then you simply don’t mix with a wide enough group of people. Go out and make friends with some wogs. Most of them are nice people, just like everyone else. Most of them are capable of being racist pigs when it suits, just like everyone else. You might even enjoy the food. Better than chops, peas and potatoes anyday.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Andrew Wilkie. Hahahahahahahahaaaa choke gasp hahahaha
I have been having a nice little conversation over at my good friend Darps' place about the apparent disappearance of Andrew Wilkie. His website is gone and he has been expunged from the greens site.
So... I did a little googling and found this classic on the greens site.
It almost made my coffee come out my nose!!
Even wonder Bobs mob rate John Howards' version as more reliable than Weasle Wilkie.
Made my day it did!
So... I did a little googling and found this classic on the greens site.
It almost made my coffee come out my nose!!
Even wonder Bobs mob rate John Howards' version as more reliable than Weasle Wilkie.
Made my day it did!
It's all getting silly.
Copy cats are coming out of the woodwork with various food items that may or may not resemble "things"
The latest is a salmon sandwich that looks, and smells, like a vagina.
I've also managed to find another potentially famous grilled cheese sandwich here. The original "Virgin Mary" model seems to have sparked the whole thing off, while good old ET started me on my search for riches.
What's next?:
A haggis that looks like Michael Moore?
A peanut that looks like Mark Latham?
A goose that looks like Bob Brown?
A ferret that looks like Paul Keating?
Hey, once we have finished with food we could move on to other stuff.
Like the wing nut that looks like Bob Carr
or the donkey that looks like John Kerry
Where will it end?
The latest is a salmon sandwich that looks, and smells, like a vagina.
I've also managed to find another potentially famous grilled cheese sandwich here. The original "Virgin Mary" model seems to have sparked the whole thing off, while good old ET started me on my search for riches.
What's next?:
A haggis that looks like Michael Moore?
A peanut that looks like Mark Latham?
A goose that looks like Bob Brown?
A ferret that looks like Paul Keating?
Hey, once we have finished with food we could move on to other stuff.
Like the wing nut that looks like Bob Carr
or the donkey that looks like John Kerry
Where will it end?
Monday, December 06, 2004
Gibbo strikes it rich!
After all the kerfuffle lately regarding Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese and ET lookalikes in a Nutrigrain box, I thought that I would try and make a sly dollar myself.
A quick search through the pantry brought me face to face with certain riches.
The first one I found was the spitting image of Richard Neville. What do you think?
If this wasn't great enough by itself, then I found a group photo of some of the "special" folks that hang around in Richards' comments section.
Then folks, the topper of all toppers!
May I present: Kerry Nettle, Bob Brown, Andrew Wilkie and Peter Garrett.
I'm justing popping in to eBay now to list them. Man, I can see the dollars rolling in now!
A quick search through the pantry brought me face to face with certain riches.
The first one I found was the spitting image of Richard Neville. What do you think?
If this wasn't great enough by itself, then I found a group photo of some of the "special" folks that hang around in Richards' comments section.
Then folks, the topper of all toppers!
May I present: Kerry Nettle, Bob Brown, Andrew Wilkie and Peter Garrett.
I'm justing popping in to eBay now to list them. Man, I can see the dollars rolling in now!
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Staff Training Procedural Changes.
Preamble:
Budgetary constraints now dictate that all staff training sessions should follow a set procedure regardless of their intended topic.
In the spirit of procedural integrity, all staff training will now reinforce positive approaches and frameworks, which will seek to enhance effectiveness and allow us to implement new paradigms with a “can do” attitude. Trainers will facilitate getting attendees “back on track” within a pedagogical context by developing “Personal Management Plans”.
Outcomes and synergies can be structured and measured against these frameworks in order to value the collective input.
Staff Training Structural Matrix:
Training sessions will now follow the following structure, which all trainers will attempt to follow, as follows:
1. Start of session. Trainers will get all participants to stand up and introduce themselves and describe their position within the organisation. Remember, a stranger is just a friend you haven’t met! This is an opportune moment for telling the attendees how special your particular circumstance is and how no one really understands you. You are permitted also to give brief examples of mistreatment from under achieving superiors.
2. All attendees will now talk amongst themselves at a progressively louder volume.
3. The trainer will now attempt to get the session “back on track” by writing things on a white board. If staff are still inattentive, ball games or lolly throwing may be instigated.
4. Morning tea will now be provided. This is another opportunity to let the other attendees know how hard it is in your particular department ad how unfair your boss is. Be sure to underline the fact that no-one really understands you or values your input.
5. After morning tea the session will move onto Conflict Resolution. Please open your workbooks to the approved activities. The trainer will then facilitate discussion in a small group scenario after taking nominations for team captains. Team captains are to facilitate the facilitation, which was instigated by the trainer, at a team level. This is to be done with consistent, incremental growth in volume to the point that the trainer needs to again throw lollies.
6. The team captains will then vocalise the outcomes of the group discussions. Attendees are invited to but in at any point to confirm that their boss doesn’t really value them intrinsically or extrinsically.
7. Spontaneous group discussion is now encouraged with a focus on each attendee’s particular, personal situation.
8. Drawings will now be made on flip charts.
9. Team captains will be invited to stick coloured squares of cardboard onto the flip charts. Brisk discussion at ever increasing volumes will then ensue.
10. Lunch will now be served. This is again an opportune moment to meet new friends and to explain to them how no one really understands your situation and how you feel undervalued as a person.
11. After lunch, all attendees except two will return. Brisk discussion will be undertaken as to the possible reasons for their tardiness.
12. The trainer may take this opportunity to attempt to show a video about Conflict Resolution, which may or may not feature John Cleese.
13. The missing two attendees are to walk in at 2 minute intervals after the video has started. Embarrassed looks are optional.
14. Discussion will now start about the lateness of “Some People”
15. At the conclusion of the video the trainer will attempt to get the session “back on track” by introducing the actual topic of the training session.
16. [INSERT TRAINING TOPIC HERE]
17. A PowerPoint presentation will now be attempted.
18. Attendees are invited to fiddle with the projector at will. Eventually, the person “who knows all about projectors” should step forward to direct the button pushing frenzy.
19. After watching the presentation about [INSERT TRAINING TOPIC HERE], the trainer will discuss the upcoming afternoon tea and the possibility of going home early as this has been a particularly “special” group today.
20. Afternoon tea will now be served. Note: This is one of your last opportunities to discuss your unique situation within the organisation. Make use of it! This is the best time to again explain the uselessness of your superiors and about who is probably rooting who in your office.
21. Attendees are now invited to reluctantly shuffle back to the training room.
22. The importance of Conflict Resolution will now be reiterated.
23. One last round of valued input will now be facilitated with special attention paid to vocalising underlying constraints within your personal context.
24. A Values Statement will now be prepared in consultation with the Mission Statement as it applies to the Outcomes Statement within the contextual framework.
Have I been in the public service too long? 18 months in and this is the result!
Budgetary constraints now dictate that all staff training sessions should follow a set procedure regardless of their intended topic.
In the spirit of procedural integrity, all staff training will now reinforce positive approaches and frameworks, which will seek to enhance effectiveness and allow us to implement new paradigms with a “can do” attitude. Trainers will facilitate getting attendees “back on track” within a pedagogical context by developing “Personal Management Plans”.
Outcomes and synergies can be structured and measured against these frameworks in order to value the collective input.
Staff Training Structural Matrix:
Training sessions will now follow the following structure, which all trainers will attempt to follow, as follows:
1. Start of session. Trainers will get all participants to stand up and introduce themselves and describe their position within the organisation. Remember, a stranger is just a friend you haven’t met! This is an opportune moment for telling the attendees how special your particular circumstance is and how no one really understands you. You are permitted also to give brief examples of mistreatment from under achieving superiors.
2. All attendees will now talk amongst themselves at a progressively louder volume.
3. The trainer will now attempt to get the session “back on track” by writing things on a white board. If staff are still inattentive, ball games or lolly throwing may be instigated.
4. Morning tea will now be provided. This is another opportunity to let the other attendees know how hard it is in your particular department ad how unfair your boss is. Be sure to underline the fact that no-one really understands you or values your input.
5. After morning tea the session will move onto Conflict Resolution. Please open your workbooks to the approved activities. The trainer will then facilitate discussion in a small group scenario after taking nominations for team captains. Team captains are to facilitate the facilitation, which was instigated by the trainer, at a team level. This is to be done with consistent, incremental growth in volume to the point that the trainer needs to again throw lollies.
6. The team captains will then vocalise the outcomes of the group discussions. Attendees are invited to but in at any point to confirm that their boss doesn’t really value them intrinsically or extrinsically.
7. Spontaneous group discussion is now encouraged with a focus on each attendee’s particular, personal situation.
8. Drawings will now be made on flip charts.
9. Team captains will be invited to stick coloured squares of cardboard onto the flip charts. Brisk discussion at ever increasing volumes will then ensue.
10. Lunch will now be served. This is again an opportune moment to meet new friends and to explain to them how no one really understands your situation and how you feel undervalued as a person.
11. After lunch, all attendees except two will return. Brisk discussion will be undertaken as to the possible reasons for their tardiness.
12. The trainer may take this opportunity to attempt to show a video about Conflict Resolution, which may or may not feature John Cleese.
13. The missing two attendees are to walk in at 2 minute intervals after the video has started. Embarrassed looks are optional.
14. Discussion will now start about the lateness of “Some People”
15. At the conclusion of the video the trainer will attempt to get the session “back on track” by introducing the actual topic of the training session.
16. [INSERT TRAINING TOPIC HERE]
17. A PowerPoint presentation will now be attempted.
18. Attendees are invited to fiddle with the projector at will. Eventually, the person “who knows all about projectors” should step forward to direct the button pushing frenzy.
19. After watching the presentation about [INSERT TRAINING TOPIC HERE], the trainer will discuss the upcoming afternoon tea and the possibility of going home early as this has been a particularly “special” group today.
20. Afternoon tea will now be served. Note: This is one of your last opportunities to discuss your unique situation within the organisation. Make use of it! This is the best time to again explain the uselessness of your superiors and about who is probably rooting who in your office.
21. Attendees are now invited to reluctantly shuffle back to the training room.
22. The importance of Conflict Resolution will now be reiterated.
23. One last round of valued input will now be facilitated with special attention paid to vocalising underlying constraints within your personal context.
24. A Values Statement will now be prepared in consultation with the Mission Statement as it applies to the Outcomes Statement within the contextual framework.
Have I been in the public service too long? 18 months in and this is the result!
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