Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Guts vs Balls

I got this via email today and got a chuckle out of it.

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the
Aussie definition for each is listed below...

GUTS - arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are
you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - arriving home late after a night out with the boys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the backside and saying, "You're next!"

Hope this clears up any confusion on the subject!

Monday, February 06, 2006

OPC's (Other Peoples Children)

It's a far too infrequent occurence these days but Mrs Gibbo & I ended up in a nice little cafe in Kiama for breakfast on Sunday morning. What a wonderful situation to be in eh? Great company, great surroundings, great food, great view. Then in walks a couple with two small kids who proceed to argue over the menu and start a squealing contest. Just what you need for a relaxing breakfast, two squealing kids. Then a few more kids from up the back of the cafe start a game of chasings. Meanwhile the parents just seem oblivious to it all and to the effect their mongrel kids are having on the other patrons.

I'll tell it to ya straight folks, if you can't control your kids in public then leave the bastards at home! You stuff it for everyone including yourself. There should be a law that allows you to discipline other peoples children. They are obviously not getting it at home so I should be allowed to do it. You know, you are following some lady with 3 kids pushing a trolley in Woolworths, and all you hear is "Stop that Shardayshia. Get down off that Tarquin. Put those back Sharpelle." The whole time the kids are doing whatever they please. Crazy stuff folks! If you are going to bother to yell at Tarquin to get down then hows about MAKING Tarquin get down? If you don't care if he gets down then STOP YELLING AT HIM. Either way, sort it out. I don't know Tarquin from a bar of soap but I'll bet a weeks beer vouchers that I could make him get down!

Now I can hear a few people saying "C'mon Gibbo, surely your kids have played up in public?" and the answer to that is "Sure... once!"

Be warned all you people with naughty kids. Gibbo is watching old episodes of MacGyver in an effort to improve his improvised weapon building skills. Once I've managed to convert the salt and pepper shakers into a flame thrower you are all in the shit!

Gibbo WILL have relaxing Sunday breakfasts in peace in future. You have been warned.