Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Latham, you are an inspiration!

My 16 year old son, Gibbo Jnr, came home with an interesting story the other day. Him and his mates were down at the Group 6 League grand finals last weekend when they ran into... well, I'll let Gibbo Jnr tell you in his own inimitable style.

Twas an early Sunday afternoon, there was much excitment at the football game that myself and many of my associates were attending. In our excitment three of my associates and myself decided it would be a great idea to take the medium sized walk to the nearest Subway complex. Upon arrival no one had noticed a certain man and his son using one of the designated sitting and eating areas "tables and seats" if you will. So my friend and I ordered our desired food and beverages and sat down in one of the corners with my other two associates. So as I was enjoying my Cookie and beverage of the soda variety, one of my associates noticed the man sitting at the table. He appeared to resemble Mark Latham, our ex leader of the opposition, but no one could be sure, and no one was game enough to ask. He must have heard our murmurs because as he left, he approached me with his child, and proclaimed "If i'm Mark Latham, you're Freddy Fuckwit!"
Dumbfounded through my disbelief of what I had just heard, partly because it was who I believed was the ex leader of the opposition, and partly because he had his toddler with him, that all I could think to say was "O.k, see ya Mark."
Our group proceeded to laugh our heads off for about 20 minutes, the shock was unbelievable and we continued to relive the moment over and over.
Now we weren't sure if it was really Mark Latham, but I did some research, and have come to the conclusion that it was. Who would have thought that the one thing that I had a problem with would provide me with the evidence I sorely needed. His child. He had fiery Red hair, so naturally I looked on the internet for pictures of him and his family. It took less than 2 minutes, and I had the evidence I needed. A picture was found, with him and his two red headed children, COMPELLING EVIDENCE???, I think so!
So really all I have to say is thankyou. Thankyou Mr Latham, these wise, encouraging, reassuring words have givin me a new lease on life. It is clear to me now that if an absolute idiot such as yourself can become leader of the opposition, then I can become successful in anything I strive to achieve. Nothing can stop me now that I have the encouragement of possibly one of the biggest bogans driving me. I say bogan, because Mr Latham was dressed in the most profound manner. A daggy, 10 odd year old shirt, a pair of stubbie shorts and a pair of colarado shoes, with no socks. I would have thought that being in one of the most influencial positions would have provided him with some funds. But this brings me to my next point. This boganism leads me to believe that you probably spend all of your money fixing the vandalism attacks that occur on your house and possesions. You know why that is Mr Latham? Because no one likes you, and most of us, well the ones that don't see you in Subway, have forgotten about you. I believe this is probably why you were so angry and harsh that Sunday afternoon. Hey I don't blame you, I'd be a bit sour too, if the whole nation hated me.
So in conclusion, thankyou Mr Latham, you are an inspiration to all of us, who are even slightly better than you(everyone). In the end, you were Mark Latham, so I guess I am Freddy Fuckwit!
Peace Out, Gibbo(FF)

6 comments:

Splat Guy said...

Look, he might be down and out in Subway, but John Howard's ready to retire while he's ready to lead.

Or maybe Mark had been reading to his kids? Perhaps "The Adventures of Freddy Fuckwit and Other Members of the Labor Caucus" is the title of Mark's new book.

snagglepoof said...

Go, young Freddy, GO!!!
Stick it up the big dope.
Sadly, it's true: most of our politicians are what they are because politics is one of only two activities which require nothing more than a big mouth to make a name for yourself.
(Most of 'em are pretty good at the other one as well - just look at John's oral skills when it comes to Big George or Kim's amazing ability to hoover half a dozen union leaders at the same time!).

paul said...

Serves you right for wearing those cabbie uniforms. Those monotesticular gags may have also served to get his dander up as well.

Anonymous said...

top post gibbo/freddie junior. you write pretty darn good for a boofhead footy playin' parra (boo) supporter :) (go broncos)

Darp said...

My condolences Gibbo.

Phowwooar.

We've seen some top notch Parramatta brain explosions in recent years but this was a classic. Cross field kicks in their own 22, passes that went nowhere and zero communication on the field.

CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE. Parra under Brian Smith will always be the chokers!

Still, I'm sure I speak on behalf of everyone from Drummoyne through to Granville, up to Epping and down to Meadowbank when I say that a Parra/Balmain-wests Tigers grand final would have been a fucking sensational affair.

I WAS hoping for a Parra win today to make it happen (and hoping for the big choke to follow next week)

Gibbo said...

What can I say? That was just fucked!